Is it Okay to be OA?

   Have you ever been told you're overreacting or do you often ask yourself "Am I just being too sensitive?" over some situation? Me as well. 

 And sometimes, I tend to think the same to other people. 

But when we can say that someone is just overreacting or overly sensitive? Comparing, I guess. We may think that if you were in their situation, you won't react like how they react. But that's the case, you're not in their situation...You don't feel what they felt. 

(Storytime) 😂

Back then, I have this classmate, she is kind and sweet but sometimes, I don't want to talk to her because "simple things" hurt her feelings. I tried to observe her behavior but no matter how I think about it I just always thought "OA nya naman, para yun lang umiyak na" but when I experienced it myself, I felt bad. Because now I finally understand her. 

Who am I to tell her what she should feel? 

Who am I to think that what she felt was wrong? 

Who am I to invalidate her emotions? 

We don't have the same personal histories and of course, it influences how we respond to situations. Each and every one of us has our own unique way to manage our feelings and processing our emotions; "Little things" for you might not be little things for them and vice versa. We all have to understand that. 

When we invalidate someone it means you don't understand them, or if you do, you just don't care.

I realize that I can't understand someone until I walk into their shoes. 

 There are times that I got in to fight because when i finally have the courage to finally speak what was bothering me, instead of receiving an apology, they find a way to make me feel bad and it leave me felt worse than i felt before. So I regret even saying anything. I became fearful of opening up again. 

Don't let anyone decide what you should feel. It's your own body after all. 

I'm learning not to invalidate my own feelings, but also not share them with others as long as I can. I would rather die of loneliness and anxiety than sharing my feelings with someone that will invalidate my feelings. No one lives in my body but ME. If there is someone who has to understand me. THAT SHOULD BE ME. (JB) 😂

Treat yourself like how you would treat someone that you love. When you love someone you protect them from the pain, you don’t become the cause of it. It's not your fault if you don't know what's happening inside your body. What you felt, is what you felt. Just because someone is telling you that you're feeling is inappropriate to that situation, doesn't mean it's wrong to feel that way. Emotions are inevitable, and you're allowed to feel whatever. We are all humans. 

May you not be a reason  why someone is thinking that there is something wrong with her just because she don't respond the way you expected. Life is hard especially nowadays, we are facing our own giants so

Be Kind. Tomorrow is not promised. Words hurt more than knife can do. If she says she's hurt. She is. Acknowledge, Listen and Love. 

...and oh, Yes I think it's Okay to be OA. You're fine. There's nothing wrong with you. 😉

You Can't Give What You Don't Have

YOU CAN'T GIVE WHAT YOU DON'T HAVE.
Basic phrase but very Correct. Right?
Whether in physical things or skills that asked you to do. We simply can't do it or give it because we don't have it. But this phrase doesn't always work with LOVE. 

Us people, we have this idea of perfection wherein we love what's perfect, and us being us, we know that we are far from perfection because we can see what's in our hearts, what's our thoughts, our darkest secrets, and past mistakes that's why sometimes it's not easy to love ourself. A lot of times, we feel frustrated with what we're doing to the point that we think we don't deserve to be loved.

 But how can you fill someone's love tank if your's is empty? 

Learning to love yourself is one of the most powerful and important things you can do in life. You have to become the source of love that will fill your heart.

There is nothing wrong with giving love to other people, but don't make someone else a reason for your own happiness. Try finding it inside your own self. You have to have good self-respect, love, and esteem to be able to love in a healthy way. 

Before I beg for other people to stay in my life and to do that, whatever they do or say bad toward me, it's fine, or if they ask me to do things, I'll do it. Just for them to stay. In short, It's okay for me to be manipulated and used; though it hurts, I'll just endure it. I gave out so much attention, time, effort, care, and love without receiving that same energy in return, but one day I woke up and realized how stupid I am for allowing these things to happen.

There's a point in our life when we allow our world to revolve around just one person, but what will happen if he/she left? Maybe, happiness will also leave us. I love this quote from Fred Rogers: "Solitude is different from loneliness." Often, we feel like being alone or having no partner is equal to being lonely, but it's not. You just have to let your world revolve around you, not because you can't find someone to love or not because you're unworthy to be accepted or cared for but because you deserve to wake up smiling, happy because you know how to fight alone and feels right because your happiness doesn't depend on other people anymore, and ready to make mistakes again. 

Give yourself liberation from situations that you don't deserve.

You have to put in mind that you are a human being; we are naturally imperfect and fragile, but we are beautiful in our own ways, and we can live a purposeful life even though we are far from being perfect. You don't need someone to make you feel loved, though it feels right to be loved and appreciated by others; the point is we have to learn to be okay without the validation of other people; I'm in the phase of life where I'm okay if people block me or unblock me, they conversate with me or not, they care about me or not, they judge me or not, life goes on. I am secured that there will be people who will choose to stay in my life and love all of me. 

We have to learn how to validate and appreciate ourselves. We love not because we want to prove to the world that forever exists but because we want to be happy while still alive. Falling in love will make every morning worth getting up for, but to feel that love doesn't require another person beside you on your bed or texting you "Good Morning." or someone that can give you flowers and gifts; You can fall in love with everything around you, you can fall in love with the sunset, the moon, the dogs, etc. and most especially you can fall in love with yourself, with your own unique beauty and appreciate the person you are now. 

You cannot truly love if you cannot love yourself while you're alone. The moment you love yourself the right way, you will be ready to share that love with the one who deserves to take care of your heart. You have to fill your own love tank so that you can share that love with the people that will love all of you, not just the side of you that's sweet, caring, gentle, and happy; but can also love your hard edges, your grumpy moods, jealousy, attitude, darkest secrets, and insecurities. I'm so grateful to those rare individuals that accepted me for who I am, people who made me feel so special, and people who listened to me without judgments and understood without pretension, and loved me without conditions. 

Knowing both of my good and bad sides makes it hard for me to fall in love with myself sometimes. But now, I'm ready for it; I'm ready to make mistakes and grow from them. I'm learning how to express my most intense emotions without completely falling apart. I learned how to be kind and to forgive myself.  I know that there will be days that I will feel insecure and unappreciated, and that's okay. This world is full of uncertainties, and we have to be ready to let go of the things and the people that we love, but we have to make sure that when that happens, we're still whole and have a heart that is ready to give love because you don't run out of it because you have enough left for yourself.  

Happy Fridaaay! :)))